Jeremy Clarkson Forum

[Ivor Bigtruck]

It arrived in the post this morning. The letter from Plod and his mates.

No, not to tell me they have caught the bastards who have been nicking my diesel for the past god knows how long, nor to inform me of the arrest of the gang who stole my Scania last year.

Neither was it the courtesy letter thanking me for helping a Police woman last week to change a headlight bulb on her panda car, nor the one to advise of the progress of their ongoing, relentless enquiries into the theft of part of my load several months ago.

No, it was to inform me that I have committed the most heinous crime imaginable - and have been caught on camera - a "SAFETY CAMERA" no less - for doing 35mph in a 30 limit!

Guilty as charged - Take me down! (Off to the Goulag for me then).

Add it to the list, 'cos last year I suffered the indignity of having to attend a "Speed Awareness Course", 'cos I'd been caught doing 32mph in a 30 limit zone, at 05:27 in the morning on the A6 north of bloody Preston. I mean, how f***ing petty do you want it?!

And then they wonder why people, hard working, decent people just trying to get on with their lives, have so little respect for them!

What a f***ing waste of blue fabric the bastards really are!