Jeremy Clarkson Forum

[Ivor Bigtruck]

Reported in the press this morning - the post mortem results into the death of Dr. David Kelly will not be released for 70 years!

Why not?

Something to hide!?

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah......not a bit suprised though.......suppose anthony blair ( multi millionaire ), will come out with a load of old bollocks at the chilcot cover up later this week as well......talk about "banana republics".....where are we at?........and....I think that the very next person, employed by the citizens.....who states the words......"lessons must be learned".....should be strung up by their bollocks until the lesson is learned.......

[Ivor Bigtruck]

Yeah......not a bit suprised though.......suppose anthony blair ( multi millionaire ), will come out with a load of old bollocks at the chilcot cover up later this week as well......talk about "banana republics".....where are we at?........and....I think that the very next person, employed by the citizens.....who states the words......"lessons must be learned".....should be strung up by their bollocks until the lesson is learned.......

Other quotes include, "Of course", and "Draw a line under it and move on".

You can usually tell when the bastards are lying when their lips move.

[bigt]

70 years, isnt that the half life of weapons grade plutonium, or am I just being cynical here?

I really fail to see how you can be so hard on the best ex prime minister this country has ever had, if it hadnt been for this wonderful gentleman, don't people realise or grasp the fact that our economy would be in a far worse state than it currently is.

During the golden years of his premiership, it must be noted that employment was at it's all time lowest, the stock market at an all time highest and the economy was at it's peak. So what was the big secret do I hear you ask ??

Well basically job and wealth creation on a scale never seen before, I list some examples:

1. A full and gainfully employed civil service to administer the news law that seem to eminate from the PM,s den on a daily basis.

2. Expensive spin doctors kept in constant demand in an uneconomical attempt to add credibility to what were basically lies.

3. The introduction of a novel , self sustaining job creation scheme. It's called war and the principle is simple - you send people off to fight a war that nobody wants and they get all killed, so you send some more out - get it ?? utter brilliance !!

4. The banks and finance sectors were booming, never seen so much money! ermmm perhaps that should be phrased we will never see the money again - enough said ??

5. Massive employment within the police force to tax ( apologies , I mean make aware of road safety ) all motorists who dare to exceed the speed limit, eat a sandwich, pick their noses, kill a lesser spotted flippety gibbet or the ultimate sin SMOKE !!!!!
whilst driving their big powerful planet killing, pollution emitting ( tax generating ) gas guzzlers.

6. Massive employment created within the criminal sector, as the police were to busy enforcing 5. above, this sector of industry absolutely blossomed.

7. Tourism - massive incomes generated by tourism, thats for the people traffickers that is, approx 1 million visitors to our country who arrived First class under the euro star and have since never left.

8. ASBO's - a very important deterrent to anti social behaviour and was taken most seriously by their recipient as it would earn them 35 quid on ebay, sold as a badge of office to other similarly challenged yoof.

9. Considerable wealth generation in the construction industry, chiefly building the milennium dome and demolishing closed down factoriesthat apparently used to be part of something called a manufacturing industry, no I cant remember what one of those was either.

10. Without doubt though, perhaps the best income generation scheme and perhaps the most fool proof, is raising money from poor people who want to become a bit more important and established in life. It was brilliantly simple in its execution, the poor people handed over loads of cash and in return got a peerage - superb !!

I hope to have clearly illustrated just what this great man did for our country and can thereby permanently nullify any arguments to the contrary. The man has deservedly now moved on to be an MEP, a position I add that is totally justified, as now he can lie, cheat, swindle, lie again and have to face absolutely no consequesces arising from it.

Vive his tonyness...............

[bigt]

PS,

Clarkson for prime minister !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah........must say first couple of paragraphs started to piss me off....but then......pure genius.......welcome...

[Ivor Bigtruck]

Agree Bigt, couldn't have said it better myself

Guilty as charged.......Take him down!

[bigt]

Ahhh and here was me thinking I had you all fooled that I was a fully subscribed member of the tony party...........

No, to be honest I think the nearest I would like to get to a Tony party gathering would be his wake......

stay lucky everyone - your'e gonna need it !!!!!!