Jeremy Clarkson Fan Site Forum

fifthwheel wrote:It's hard to tell,at least for me,if a comment is tongue-in-cheek,sarcastic, or what.That's the problem with the written word,it's difficult to convey the subtleties of the spoken word.And since there are so many grumpy bastards on this site one assumes the worst.But it would be a welcome change to have some fun instead of being a grumpy bastard all the time. So hang around for a while and keep posting.What does "20 in number 44 tonners" mean?

Yeah......your right about the grumpy bastards though......far to many of them.....dont be confused with taking the piss though......dont want to upset anyone's feelings do we..????.......

fifthwheel wrote:While there are many threads on this fine website,this one clearly was aimed at truckers.If you are ,that's fine.But if you aren't then why complain about what is posted? Perhaps bigt is new to the industry and like plenty of new drivers over here,already knows all there is to know about the business.I've been at it for more than 20 years and have seen and experienced more than a few things,but I still learn new things.By the way,what is a Guy big j4 and a gardner 8lxb?

You're dead right, Fifthwheel. Always something new to learn in any walk of life. A few years ago whilst travelling back from Berlin towards Rotterdam I had as a passenger in my truck an aquaintence, an ex Army Major. I didn't know him very well, but the conversation soon got under way and we spent almost five hours just bouncing stories back and forth, talking about life's experiences and generally laughing at the absurdities of it all. The A2 from Berlin, known as the Berlin Corridor (formerly the only supply route into West Berlin during the Cold War and the road the East Germans shut resulting in the Berlin Airlift), it has to be said is quite possibly the single most boring road on earth. However on this day the miles, and hours just flew by, and by the time we stopped for lunch at Melle an unbreakable lifetime friendship had been formed.

In answer to your question, The Gardner 8lxb engine was produced (I think) during the late 60's, 70' and early 80's for both commercial road and marine use. A straight (inline) 8 cylinder, 13.93 litre engine which startes off in life as a straight six, the 6lxb which had a couple of extra pots added on! Lack of technical development saw its demise in the early - mid 80's when the increasingly popular Cummins engines gained a foothold in the British manufactured truck market.

As for the beastly Guy Big J4, look on www.nationaltransportmuseum.org , then click on "The Collection" then "Commercial Vehicles" and then scroll down to, and click on "What a Guy".

I bet Norky'll find all that lot interesting. Nobody ever ran over a hedgehog in a Guy Big J4 'cos they made so much noise the little critters could hear 'em coming from miles away, and chances are the bloody thing would have broken down well before it reached them anyway! My Dad drove one for a while during the late 70's. What a heap of crap it was!

looks like Fifth n Bigt have connected. Is dis some sort of lorry driva love-in thread ..? Boys.. tink u will need some big mutha yorkie bars to keep energy levels at da max.....?

Shed. For once i am wit you...a bit of dissin keep tings interesting .... u invented dat eva lastin light bulb yet?

Bit concerned now at these big lorry parks. i thought all those steamy type windows were trucka boys gettin da hitch-hiker fare?? kno what i mean ?? look like there might be more of trucka head da head instead, playin wit da hydraulics?? is dat marked on those tacho type tings??

only dissin... trucka's move stuff around dis big bad country of ours.....dem afghans, somalians, kurds, chinese need da services of forty foota's ..cha!

off to flat spot me low profiles on da Gti now!

Yeah........this thread now reached a record 3 pages......think we've covered every burger van in the civilised world........could do with a bit more input from any of the Latvian,Lithuanian, Polish, Rumanian, and the rest of our Euro-Friend drivers currently driving like f****** idiots around "Norkieland"......came face to face with one this week in the Norkie Taxi, coming straight at me up a one way........When his error was "politely" pointed out.....his answer in "broken european" was..........I dont live 'round here........f****** classic.!!!!!

Normally I would suggest that it is time to invade poland again, apparently is was quite successful when last tried in 1939.
However it would be a bit pointless now as the population is now all over here - mind you I suppose it wouldnt take an army this time, you could probably do it with a troop of boy scouts.

As for Lithuania - it should be annexed by the bloody Siberians..................

As for the beastly Guy Big J4, look on www.nationaltransportmuseum.org , then click on "The Collection" then "Commercial Vehicles" and then scroll down to, and click on "What a Guy".


Yes, driven one - beast indeed, bits used to drop off the cab as you went along the ride was so rough!

bigt.....

correct me if me history is not quite dat correct cos lessons in lock down based on wackin the mutha next to you before you got wacked but...
don't think you can call da capping of six mill of dem jews, killin half a mill of our boys fightin on da right side and who give a s**t mill of dem squareheads on da wrong side cos of da"successful invasion of Poland in 1939!"

Was gonna mention da demolition of some wicked architecta along da way but don't want to f**k up me street cred.

Norkie me friend. am i on da way to dat intellectual type chat now? on your shed polishin day as well ??

Yeah.......where you nick the history book from then,?????

me no nick anytin norkie me friend. Da book on long term loan from dat big buidin wit all dem books n tings ........wattastones man!!...... cha! bet you thought i was gonna say da library!!

Like me say norkie, neva judge me little black ass by the cover man!

By da way. like me "mach 10" avatar. got it in da end. Da weapon just like me man......about 12 inches long, black n holds da mag dat fires 40 rounds with max effect!! ...cha!!

Boy from da hood wrote:me no nick anytin norkie me friend. Da book on long term loan from dat big buidin wit all dem books n tings ........wattastones man!!...... cha! bet you thought i was gonna say da library!!

Like me say norkie, neva judge me little black ass by the cover man!

By da way. like me "mach 10" avatar. got it in da end. Da weapon just like me man......about 12 inches long, black n holds da mag dat fires 40 rounds with max effect!! ...cha!!

Yeah.........really impressed.........got a 303 myself.......only got 9 rounds though......no problem.......got plenty of time to reload........your 40 rounds in about 15 secs........bet the crumpet really happy....you got a queue of your mates behind you then?......tea!!!

A 303 ?? isn't dat a f*****n musket ting man?? Norkie u is old!! Mention dat zulu film and i'll kick yo ass!! Mind you, dat might wake wizzard up. Dat men of harlek song send da tingles right up me little black body!!

9 rounds?? me Mach 10 fire 1000 rounds a minute. good over 80 metres. Dats enough from da window of me Gti to da pavement man. gets dem asian dudes running for cover man....cha!!!

Dat reminds me norkie me friend. You rocket scientists no good at da normal stuff......i went on da internet ting. tink you will fnd dat "tcha" means tea and "char" means tea. You losin it man!! keep off dem heavy water drinks!! .....Cha !!

Boy from da hood wrote:A 303 ?? isn't dat a f*****n musket ting man?? Norkie u is old!! Mention dat zulu film and i'll kick yo ass!! Mind you, dat might wake wizzard up. Dat men of harlek song send da tingles right up me little black body!!

9 rounds?? me Mach 10 fire 1000 rounds a minute. good over 80 metres. Dats enough from da window of me Gti to da pavement man. gets dem asian dudes running for cover man....cha!!!

Dat reminds me norkie me friend. You rocket scientists no good at da normal stuff......i went on da internet ting. tink you will fnd dat "tcha" means tea and "char" means tea. You losin it man!! keep off dem heavy water drinks!! .....Cha !!

Yeah.........reckon they could do with you and a few of your mates in Afghanistan right now......you can shoot as many locals as you like.....get free ammo.....get fed for nothing.....and the local crop could be a money maker......

norfolkcaravanner wrote:

Boy from da hood wrote:me no nick anytin norkie me friend. Da book on long term loan from dat big buidin wit all dem books n tings ........wattastones man!!...... cha! bet you thought i was gonna say da library!!

Like me say norkie, neva judge me little black ass by the cover man!

By da way. like me "mach 10" avatar. got it in da end. Da weapon just like me man......about 12 inches long, black n holds da mag dat fires 40 rounds with max effect!! ...cha!!

Yeah.........really impressed.........got a 303 myself.......only got 9 rounds though......no problem.......got plenty of time to reload........your 40 rounds in about 15 secs........bet the crumpet really happy....you got a queue of your mates behind you then?......tea!!!

Didn't think Y'all were allowed to own firearms,Norky.I thought only the cops(and the criminals) were armed.But good for you if you've got an old Enfield.Or do you only have a couple cartridges and no rifle?The Enfield is a great piece if you have one while the Mac 10 is an idiots weapon.Have you ever fired anything on full auto?It's spray and pray as I know from personal experience.The Mac spits out 40 rounds in about 2 seconds and I don't know of anyone that could hold it on target,no matter how big or strong a person.Firing real weapons in the real world isn't like they show in movies,that's why in the real world one fires in burst's.

Yeah.........and I got the bayonet as well........no firing pin though..!!!......and no live ammo either........wouldn't be a lot of use with "the Hoods" mates.......mind you..... "they do'nt like it up them"........as corporal jones used to say..!!...you wont appreciate that unless you get Dads Army in spamland.....

norfolkcaravanner wrote:Yeah.........and I got the bayonet as well........no firing pin though..!!!......and no live ammo either........wouldn't be a lot of use with "the Hoods" mates.......mind you..... "they do'nt like it up them"........as corporal jones used to say..!!...you wont appreciate that unless you get Dads Army in spamland.....

Yes ,I get it.I was in the Army too and a student of history.It's a shame your gov'ment doesn't trust you with a loaded rifle.Its a wonder they let you have the bayonet.Why don't you send for a firing pin off the Net?Or is the bolt welded shut?My old 96 Swedish Mauser doesnt have a bayonet but I do have live ammo for it .

Did the "Mach 10" come in a box from "Toys R Us" with "Tomy" written on the packaging?

Reckon 'Da Boy' probably lives in Dalkeith, and looks not unlike one of 'The Proclaimers'!

Yeah.........thats all Greek to me.........Leave that to Ivor the engine.....

Looks like Russian, but it's basically the same alphabet - Cyrillic - as Greek.

I know a few Belarussians having been over there several times, but I think it would probably be inappropriate to ask them to translate it into English due to the likely 'subject matter'!

Could be red faces all around!

What is all this crap?I doubt it's a Russian trucker commenting on truck driving in the Motherland.I'll admit I could be wrong as I don't read Russian,but it's more likely a ad for something.It would be nice to hear from some drivers over there but I won't hold my breath.

Hi Sir
Addressed as such as you are a breed of your own I know ! my son in law is one, do you know the anser to my question

We have just published a book.... The Magic of Wynghorran Castle its about Teddy Bears I know that Jeremy has a teddy bear that is a bit beat up! he says he is fond of his bear. I would like to send Jeremy`s bear a signed copy but I dont know his name can any one help... Clive
ps for you info only visit the site.... teddybearworld org uk

Bye the way my son inlaws name is Rick you must know him he tells me that every lorry driver knows him . ????? any way say hi when you do met him ..

Can't find the name of Jeremy's teddy bear, Clive, but I do know one of its limbs became detached when he (Jezza, not the bear) was nine years old as a result of him violently laughing at Monty Python (Jezza again, that is - not the bear). As a result I should think it's fairly 'armless! (Ha! Ha! Them's the jokes, folks!)

Know quite a few truck drivers called Rick. Can you be more specific as to which one you mean? None of 'em ever mentioned their father in law so far as I can recall!

My father in law has just bought a 1986, hand painted Bedford CF ice cream van. If you see him, stop him and buy one! It'll make him very happy! Come to think of it, and on this topic of bears, I wonder if the chimes play 'The Teddy Bears picnic'. Maybe I should change it to play 'Tumbling D'Ice', found on the Rolling Stones 'Forty Licks' album, or even 'When the Whip Comes Down'!

Any other suggestions?!

What I would like to know is how all these threads are on one about truck drivers?And why aren't many drivers on this site anyway?I know JC has said some less than flattering things about them,bit there surely must be some that visit here.