Jeremy Clarkson Forum

[Boy from da hood]

before i lock intelectual horns with the likes of Welshwizard, Norfolkcaravanner, Aphrame, Ivor Bigtruck and the likes, how do i get my avatar below my wicked username ?

I feel half dressed at da moment !!

innit !

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah.......dont think you need one.......dont think they do one what looks like a complete prick anyway.....

[Ivor Bigtruck]

Your avatar could be an "Oxford English Dictionary", or at the very least a "Collin's Concise", innit!

[Aphrame]

Yeah, wot they said !!!! Mine is more a big c**k than a big prick anyway.

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah, wot they said !!!! Mine is more a big c**k than a big prick anyway.

Yeah.....Thought you'd had enough and gone to enemies reunited or something more simple.....yours is a f****** duck..!!.....innit!!......cant wait for dopey bollocks hoody chap to make some sort of profound awe inspiring statement......I reckon he eats smarties......and has a spotty face......

[Ivor Bigtruck]

Yeah, wot they said !!!! Mine is more a big c**k than a big prick anyway.

Might be a big c**k, but it's only got a little pecker, innit?

And why is one of its legs longer than the other?

Quack, Quack, me owd duck!

(Did you know that German ducks go "qvack, qvack" instead of "quack quack"?)

[Boy from da hood]

i ask a simple question and dis is the welcome i get ?? u sound like a bunch of grumpy old men to me wid too much time on your hands.

norfolk shed dragga....how did you get ure tangerine wid the nearly cool bandana?

aphrame.....nice eider....is dat ure bath substitute play thing?

iva bighummer .... are they books?..... cos u should never judge one by da cover

Dats a lesson for you Norfolk dragga of sheds.......

Welsh Wizard. i understand you are the man with responsibility. How do i get my avatar....please?

Da fish are already biting?

[welshwizard]

I'll go one better. I've found one for you.

http://www.starpulse.com/Television/Da_ ... Show-me15/

Now this is a chav who has a syndrome known as 'want to be black from the bronx disease'.

He can't spell either, and writes as he talks in a style that we older types remember from the 70s as jive (as spoken by the likes of Huggie Bear in Starsky and Hutch).

[Boy from da hood]

Mister Wizard

Very good but i ain't no Council House And Violent sort of person.

We all live in da multi cultural society called Great Britain don't we? We all speak slightly different? You are from Wales after all? Aphrame likes his ducks?? Norkeee might be a rocket scientist???

i believe in politeness and all i asked for was "how to get me Mach 10" above me name and where i come from politeness costs nuttin.

Jive ?? da language of Jazz musicians....aye! (sorry. da best Ali G i can do!) The 70's?? man you is old !!

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah........well hoody chap......why not just stick with the " no avatar", avatar then........looks a bit like how you sound anyway mate......innit???.......could add a touch of bling I suppose.......

[Ivor Bigtruck]

I don't think "Da Boy" is quite what he says he is.

He surely would have written "Mista Wizzad" instead of "Mister Wizard". "Violent sort of person" would surely be "Vi-lent sor'a dude".

Several other uses of "the" and "they", which would surely be respectively "da" and "dey" in traditional Knobhead talk, innit?

No, I don't think his pretence rings very true, a bit like when Tony Bliar started using that bloody stupid Estuary Accent during a television interview. We all knew it was a load of old bo**ocks!

[Boy from da hood]

Got you lot chunterin .....haven't i ??

Norkie..have i pulled you away from da chemistry set cos you still sound like a rocket scientist to me?

Ivor.. you is definately a teacher, teacha or whatever / whateva ?? Dictionaries, spellin and analysin me sentences seems to be da name of the game. Politics as well? I take it "Bliar" is meant to be spelt like dat ??

looks like i am "mach 10" less for da time bein but never (sorry) nevva mind ?

it's late. i'm off to deal on da street corner...int dat right norkie...does dat fit da steroetype??? ....norkie??...must be asleep dreamin about von braun......cha!!

[norfolkcaravanner]

Got you lot chunterin .....haven't i ??

Norkie..have i pulled you away from da chemistry set cos you still sound like a rocket scientist to me?

Ivor.. you is definately a teacher, teacha or whatever / whateva ?? Dictionaries, spellin and analysin me sentences seems to be da name of the game. Politics as well? I take it "Bliar" is meant to be spelt like dat ??

looks like i am "mach 10" less for da time bein but never (sorry) nevva mind ?

it's late. i'm off to deal on da street corner...int dat right norkie...does dat fit da steroetype??? ....norkie??...must be asleep dreamin about von braun......cha!!

Yeah........agree with Ivor the Engine.......Robin Hood's trying to take the piss........all credit to him........"von braun".??
cant recall many afro caribs getting involved with him either......"chuntering".??.......not exactly Brixton.......cant wait for the next installment.........glad to see Russ has returned......might need a bit of help with the "hood" !!

[Ivor Bigtruck]

Got you lot chunterin .....haven't i ??

Norkie..have i pulled you away from da chemistry set cos you still sound like a rocket scientist to me?

Ivor.. you is definately a teacher, teacha or whatever / whateva ?? Dictionaries, spellin and analysin me sentences seems to be da name of the game. Politics as well? I take it "Bliar" is meant to be spelt like dat ??

looks like i am "mach 10" less for da time bein but never (sorry) nevva mind ?

it's late. i'm off to deal on da street corner...int dat right norkie...does dat fit da steroetype??? ....norkie??...must be asleep dreamin about von braun......cha!!

No, just a humble haulier, my owd duck!

[Boy from da hood]

Bigtruck......respect man !

Norkie. Whats dis about me brothers n von braun? How do ya tink me pimped VW gti with da blacked out windows goes like S**t .......nitreous !! even da Feds give it da steer!! ( for you oldies dat "babylon" tag got kicked to da kerb long time ago!)

Next time u in my road norkie draggin your shed give me da call. i'll draw up next to your lada! tink it like a f*****g drive by!! Fight cha own battles norkie me friend!

[norfolkcaravanner]

Bigtruck......respect man !

Norkie. Whats dis about me brothers n von braun? How do ya tink me pimped VW gti with da blacked out windows goes like S**t .......nitreous !! even da Feds give it da steer!! ( for you oldies dat "babylon" tag got kicked to da kerb long time ago!)

Next time u in my road norkie draggin your shed give me da call. i'll draw up next to your lada! tink it like a f*****g drive by!! Fight cha own battles norkie me friend!

Yeah........so when are you intending to start the intellectual battle as promised in your first posting and stop writing a load of f****** crap ???????

[Ivor Bigtruck]

before i lock intelectual horns with the likes of Welshwizard, Norfolkcaravanner, Aphrame, Ivor Bigtruck and the likes, how do i get my avatar below my wicked username ?

I feel half dressed at da moment !!

innit !

As for locking horns, well my truck has a set of air horns, Norky might have some Viking blood, so may well wear horns on his helmet, and the Wizzard possibly does something with horns as part of the whole Celtic thing, but as for Aspidistra, well horns?........ on a f***ing duck!?

I wonder what word Norky's next posting will start with?
Do you think it just might possibly be "Yeah"?

To get your avatar click onto "Jeremy Clarkson forum" (top right of homepage under "Have your say".
Click on "User control panel", then "Profile", then "Edit avatar"
You can then choose "local gallery", and "Choose category".

Can't wait to see what you come up with!

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah........gives me time to think........cant wait to see "knobends" avatar........thats if he figures out Ivor the engines instructions......me more Gailec than Viking though.......

[Boy from da hood]

big truck.......got me Mach 10..........respect!!

shed pulla ......... like me avatar !! ......yeah ???

can't believe you is a taxi driva....is dat shed attached for dem big group hen do's. Dem taxi's got no horns or f**kin indicators man. When was da last time u see a F**kin taxi driva use dem. Always keep me guessin when i behind dem in me Gti. always keep da punters guessin whether you real or a f**kin rapist man!! Bet your meter is well tapped up norkie me friend...Cha!!

it was betta when you was a rocket scientist man!!

Yeah....................

[welshwizard]

There, look, proof that even retarded backward folk like boy in an anorak hood can work out how to save an avatar.
Was anybody else not surprised by it being a gun????
No thought not
But it would look better if he had a 15 year old bmw 318 with drug ‘wraps’ strewn all over and 50 pence blaring from his halfrauds £50 stereo in the background. That would tick all the boxes.

[norfolkcaravanner]

There, look, proof that even retarded backward folk like boy in an anorak hood can work out how to save an avatar.
Was anybody else not surprised by it being a gun????
No thought not
But it would look better if he had a 15 year old bmw 318 with drug ‘wraps’ strewn all over and 50 pence blaring from his halfrauds £50 stereo in the background. That would tick all the boxes.

Yeah......either a gun or even a spear......suprised they can even see indicators through the black windows.......suppose thats why the caps on back to front then.......little squirt wouldn't see f*** all with the peak in the way.....

[Boy from da hood]

cha!! da old dudes have woken up !!

Wizz. 50 pence !! dats funny man. Beemer 318 S**t and don't touch da wraps man. A brutha does dat for me !! Retard a bit strong wizz, u comin from dem land of sheep luvvas an all dat. Even dem welsh rugby dudes wearin pink now !!

all i can tink of is Tom Janes.....and dat Aled Janes... dem both really s**t singers man. Is dat bridget janes a welsh bird wizz?

Norkie....don't jive with da spear s**t man. Might have to pay a visit to dat norkieville and re-focus all of dem village idiots. Mind you man might have to bring some bruthas. there could be a lot of you ??

Don't you shed pullas have dem caps? and dem driving glove tings? and dem stickers from "bognor" n "s**t" and dem noddin dogs? I got a bandana like you man. You got da windows right tho!

Any more of dat stereotypin to be said dudes?

[norfolkcaravanner]

cha!! da old dudes have woken up !!

Wizz. 50 pence !! dats funny man. Beemer 318 S**t and don't touch da wraps man. A brutha does dat for me !! Retard a bit strong wizz, u comin from dem land of sheep luvvas an all dat. Even dem welsh rugby dudes wearin pink now !!

all i can tink of is Tom Janes.....and dat Aled Janes... dem both really s**t singers man. Is dat bridget janes a welsh bird wizz?

Norkie....don't jive with da spear s**t man. Might have to pay a visit to dat norkieville and re-focus all of dem village idiots. Mind you man might have to bring some bruthas. there could be a lot of you ??

Don't you shed pullas have dem caps? and dem driving glove tings? and dem stickers from "bognor" n "s**t" and dem noddin dogs? I got a bandana like you man. You got da windows right tho!

Any more of dat stereotypin to be said dudes?

Yeah.........you really up on the taffy singing legends for a cool dude.......as for driving gloves and bognor stickers......makes you wonder who the dude really is........nothing wrong with spears....ask the sheepshagger....we dont have a problem with swords,pikes and even clubs, used them all.....so whats the big deal?.......thought blowpipes were a good tool too......