Jeremy Clarkson Forum

[Iris]

Dear Mr Clarkson…

I heard today that you write a story about Greeks and especially Greek women. I didn’t find this story yet on internet, but I believe that you are right!
I am one of them you know…I am Greek myself ,
I live in Thessaloniki, the second biggest town in our small country.
It takes me one hour to browse my big moustache every day, to tie it up and peg it near my ears, so later at work my moustache wont mess with my keyboard.
But the big nightmare is when i am walking down the streets…There i see thousands of women with the same problem.
Oldest, who have biggest moustache, (I forgot to tell you that Greeks female moustache grows up about 2 cm every 2 days, and oldest women have to deal with 4cm every 4 days…so there is no way to get rid off it), shave their hair cause they use their moustache to cover their head. Some of them don’t cut it every day, so it trails behind them. And that is a problem because there are a lot of accidents in the streets causing by those who step on moustaches.
Maybe you don’t know it, but Greek women have special cars, which have a box incorporated at belt where they can put their moustache…Penalty for those who don’t use the box is about 3000 Euros (oh we are European members also you know).

I wanted to tell you that you are right to call our country “toilet” because i have read that ancient Greeks used toilets for their needs when other countries were using nature. But the big secret is that they forced to build toilets, so their wife’s could have a special place to “hang” their moustache when they pee…
In Greece some female artists use their moustache as a paint brush and i have to say they are doing great! I wonder how they deal with the paint colours afterwards…lol.
Oh and that’s leads me to the big point … Don’t even think to marry a Greek woman! You will need tones of shampoo every month for their hair and mustang! If you insist, you have to pick an oldest one who they shave their head, as i already told you, and that’s comes cheaper for your budget.

A girlfriend told me that there are some ways you can rid off that moustache we all have. They call it “rhizic epilation” or something like that…But these kinds of methods are not working in our case, because this “machine” breaks up at the time it touches our “whisker”.
So as you understand Greek women are foredoomed to leave with our problem…

Thanks to you, and your article people all over the world learn about it…So now we can be reach! You know our country tourism pulled up 90% after your story. Our Government changes now the tourism campaign, and i will be one of the models of the new advertisement 
The slogan will be “GREECE. THE MOUSTACHE EXPERIENCE” ! and I will walk along with other Greek girls at the beach naked –covering our “keenly points” with our moustaches.
I am also happy to announce you, our “national benefactor” and soon you will accept an epistle with an invitation and ticket, to travel in Greece, so we can give you your award. It’s a “karagkiozis” small statue with your name on it.
Karagkiozis, is a traditional character of our nation, had a big moustache and to be honest, reminds me a lot of you …
If you have a Greek friend ask him about karagiozis to give you more details …
Anyway WE GREEK MOUSTACHE GIRLS are looking forward to meet you and thank you for your story that opens a door to life for us!

Sincerely yours.
Iris.

[kasta]

Dear Iris,

My name is Katerina and I come from Athens/ Greece. I would like to add that I am very proud of my big moustache, my housband loves it and I also us it as a coat now that the weather is cold. I feel so bad about other girls around Europe that do not have one to protect them from the cold. I also use it as a protective coat when I carry my 1-year old daughter who herself started these days to grow one and is so cool because she use it as a pacifier.

Please don't get me wrong but I do too believe that Greece is a toilet ,especialy during summer when some tourists comes in the Islands and act like s....

Finally i would like to thank you because I was so sad that my baby would not be able to watch Karagiozis on TV but now I know where the show is played.

BR,
1 more moustache girl from Greece!!

[Scouse]

ok??

[chrismid]

Wus all this all about ??

[nodov]

Dear Mr Clarckson, regarding to your statement about Greek women's moustache you should think of the fact that in Greece there is a saying, which is that most of Englishmen are Gay!(in fact i dont believe that ALL Englishmen r GAY!)
If we accept the first one then we should accept the second!

Best regards
FK

PS:In England I visited the worst toilets in between countries I've ever visited.

[davidford]

I heard it was 1cm every day.

[Scouse]

Ok but isn't slating all english men verging on racism? Can agree about the toilets, most public toilets over here are atrotious!

Scouse.

[mariko]

You think you're being funny but insulting people is not funny Mr Clarkson.
You called Greece a toilet: Watching british boys and girls mooning and utinating in the streets of London probably makes London the biggest toilet in the world...
Greek girls moustache: jealous are you? even with a moustache they all look better than you! You're such a w...r!

[AITWLOS]

Dear Jeremy,
regarding your article about Greece:
I will pass your comment about Greek women simply because the last 20 years there were at least 3 women from Greece winners of the Miss Universe (or something like that) contest. I wonder how many women from U.K though acquired that title. Of course that doesn't mean a lot, but anyway beauty salons today perform miracles and there is that thing that it is called laser ...I bet that your wife knows about it.
Now about that ship, well you know believe it or not Greece has ship yards and builds ships! Unbelievable huh? I know I could not believe it my self too when i heard it, but Greece has a tradition in building ships that goes way back in time! Actually when Greeks were building ships and traveled the seas of the world, Brits were... well save it.
Concerning Greece been a toilet , honestly now, don't you thing that it is to much even for you? Well yes Greece is not perfect, no one said it is but toilet? It is at least an insult for the intelligence of the hundred thousands of your fellow compatriots that keep visiting Greece every year.I mean what kind of normal person would spend money every year to visit a toilet?
It is funny though that you said that Greek men trying to prove today that they are gays, I mean given that you are English and you know how rumor has it, about how an Englishman takes of his condom. But I guess in your country you could not use that joke so you needed some other ethnicity, and so there it goes, ancient Greeks , Greeks, and there it is: Gays!I wonder though what Scots have to say about your comment that Greeks wear skirts...
Sincerely yours,
AITWLOS

P.S 1 Excuse my horrible English although I bet they are better than your Greeks!
P.S 2 Irrelevant but personally I believe that England is a wonderful country and Brits are great people ,a lil bit sarcastic, but great, with a great sense of humor.
Stephen Ward if you read this, Jim says HI! :)

[ise_megalos_malakas]

Profanos gia ta antrika moustakia ton Ellinon den exi provlima ta fxaristiete.
Ade re karagiozako pou tha piasis sto stoma sou tin ELLADA les kai sas exoume se ektimisi kai sevazmo..
Xesmenous sas exoume REEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

[Antigoni]

Mr Clarkson (if you can still be called a mister after what you said)

I just saw the greek news and you have vastly insulted the Greeks and greek country!I hoped there was a way to read this yourself,butI am so mad that I cannot think of any ways right now...
So,what you said about the "skirts" that Greeks where,you must open some history book,becuse you would be able to know that this is the traditional outfit for the warriors of Greece,and the dance skirts are also a tradition that you are not in a position to lugh at.Those skirts don't make greek men gays,and...WHO ARE YOU ENGLISH "MEN" TO SPEAK FOR THE GREEKS???THE WHOLE PLANET LAUGHS AT YOUR SITUATION!YOU ARE THE MOST "FILLED WITH GAYS" COUNTRY!!!!AND YOU ARE NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT!!!!But,like greeks say,whatever the fox cannot reach,it makesb them hangers...(greeks understand what I am saying...)

Where were the English when ancient Greece built Acropoles and Parthenon?Where were they when we were teaching the whole world the alphabet,the history,the culture,the philosophy!!!???And who are YOU,a "man" that his life is cars and bikes and other bullsheet,to insult like this greek women,greek history and tradition???At least our tradition consists of having warriors and their "skirts",but on the other hand is your tradition of growing up boys and make them gays!!!And that's the reason that all your women come in Greece every summer to find some real men because if they try their country...they will have to search and search and search.................

Well usually I am not that furious,and I don't speak in that way,but you are worth of it...and imagine that my brother was a fan of top gear...huh!!!Even if you ask for apology,greeks will never forget these words....Now go find some sissys and fuck yourself because I think you need it...

Kisses !!!

[founio]

Hi I live in Athens and I am 23 years old. I was watching his show and was a big fan. Now in my opinion he 's just another arrogant famous and totally superficial person. Not because he wrote about Greek women- including me-. I would believe the same even if the article was refering to any other women in the world.

Mr Clarson doesn't hate Greeks I suppose. Maybe he believes that women in Greece are living in the 15th century and they don't know anything about beauty.

In every country, live women and men that don't take particular care of their appearance.His reference to the minority and not the majority, tells everything about his critical ability.

Have you even met a Greek woman?

And what about your young people Mr Clarkson? Do you Know that every summer they come in my country for vacations and they drink like devils? Do you Know that they have caused so many problems even rape to the ''ugly'' Greek women?

What we Greeks should believe for England?Do you like my reference to the minority now?

In my country people like you have nicknames. I prefer the word αιθεροβάμων.

Ειλικρινά δική σας.
Φούνιο.

[loonatic]

Come on, girls. Don't be naughty. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

[Scouse]

YAWN!!!!!!!

[tina]

ΜΑΣ ΕΚΑΝΕΣ ΤΗ ΜΟΥΡΗ ΚΡΕΑΣ ΚΑΙ ΤΩΡΑ ΔΕΝ ΕΧΩ ΠΟΥ ΝΑ ΒΑΛΩ ΤΟ ΜΟΥΣΤΑΚΙ ΜΟΥ!! ΣΚΑΤΟΨΥΧΕ, που για να κρύψεις το μικρό πουλάκι σου, παίζεις με τα αυτοκινητάκια σου μπας και βγάλεις καμιά γκόμενα χωρίς μουστάκι!Θα σου στείλουμε και καμιά φουστανέλα για να νιώσεις επιτέλους άντρας, ΗΜΙΜΑΘΗ ΑΓΓΛΕ. Many kisses

[fotis]

I've been watching your shows (top gear and the older ones) for years, and i really enjoyed your sense of humor and i really liked your connection with the audience.

But everything has its limits my friend. Some times if you cross the line you become a cloun. that goes for all of us.

If you describe Greece as a toilet, probably you havent been or seen the amazing beauties all greeks and visitors enjoy.
as for the mustache probably you must be talking about the lower one! althought this is very difficult to find these days.
I feel sorry for your ignorance. Its seems like you are starting to lose your connection with the people.

YOU THINK YOU LIVE? YOU ARE NOT EVEN BORN YET!

Probably you dont even have the stomach to publish this post.....

Fotis (dont even think of calling me gay - ask Jill, Beth, Justin, Emma and Mary from my student days)

[staygold1gr]

I didn't quite read or heard what was said, regarding skirts and toilets. But regarding the Greek girls the man is exactly right. Greek girls are one of he worst out there yet they think they are so cool. Well sorry to disapoint you because I am a Greek man and I say that yes you are hairy all over the place. On your faces, on your backs , on your asses, fucking every where. You are disgusting, not cute and you all look like mine. We have too strong male hormones in Greece and whilst the men are all hot the women take some of that too and all look like men. The locals who havent travelled don't see that but if you go abroad and start looking at the details of the faces then you realise how rough and ugly the Greeks are, how much they lack of female cuiness, how un sexual their facial expression and mvoement it. Furthermore none of them has a pretty fit body and legs are never right. foreign women are a lot prettier, look after themeselves are sweeter and much more sexy. Greek girls suck and they disgust me. They are super confident in their land because there are no pretty women there so they are in charge but look at them how miserable they are when they go abroad like England, because nobody gives a shit about them. most of them drop the universities and return home right away and pretend they didnt like the climate. We've seen it many times. Regrettably back home you have the Greek men acting as chaufers and paying for all your expenses while they are begging you for a kiss and whilst you on the other side filrt with mnay guys. Very likely the woman on that ad would be foreign, when a shooting is done for advertising everybody knows that the men will always be Greek because we have loads but the girls foreign because simply we have no women to do it. The same with all the TV shows. The Greek girls will say that a Greek woman wouldnmt do that for a living but thats just abitchy defense. If they could, they would. Go to beach in Greece and all the fit women will be tourists. While the men would be tanned and playing rackets, six packs out the ugly fat hairy greek girls will be smoking and drinking at the bar. I feel disgusted when I come on holidays and see you all. you have been spoiled with having all these cool men flirting you aroudn but you dont deserve it. You should all be exhiled from Greece and rpelace you with real women, foreign. Well done Jeremy
Nick

[Odysseus]

From your text in 'The Sun' I conclude that words like toilet/bath etc have a meaning very difficult for you to grasp. Let me add part of the etymology of the word bath from the great etymological lexicon Liddell & Scott, which you might be interested to learn:

βαλανείον (pronounced valaneon) -> lat. balneum/balineum -> bath

Yours,
Odysseus

[MAKEDONIJA]

Greetings,
my "sensitive" for your self but fachist to other, grease (fe)males or was it greek, I wonder... anyway, I guess it hurts when someone is intolerant toward your national feeling. This is good example of what the world thinks about you. :))

Makedonija forever!

[Scouse]

smeg head

[aldos]

Greetings,
my "sensitive" for your self but fachist to other, grease (fe)males or was it greek, I wonder... anyway, I guess it hurts when someone is intolerant toward your national feeling. This is good example of what the world thinks about you. :))

1. Makedonia FOREVER. I could not agree more with you! 30+ centuries, does define FOREVER. Of course 16 or 65 years DOES NOT. Now, you have been Yugoslavians (Jugoslavija or Југославија; "Land of South Slavs") up until 1992. Now? You change?

2. YES It DOES HURT when someone is intolerant towards my national feeling, you are right. So, let us be tolerant towards you: "If you really need to feel Greeks and really want to use our names of 30+ centuries, (that are obviously not Slavian) then all you need to do is to rise a Greek flag, break your borders and respect the Greek law. Change your names from Goran or Predrag to Yiorgos or Petros and... "bang" ... with the years, you will become Greeks. Am I tolerant enough now?

3. Why dont you stick with names like Skopje, Bitola, Kumanovo, Ohrid, Štip etc? They DO sound Slavian and describe your Slavian origin.

4. I am not gonna talk about fachist... you are a foolish little kid who has no idea what fachism means.


Dear Mr Clarkson
First of all I wish you get well soon after the accident you had with the car on the 12th of October.
You see; even when you are good in something, bad luck happens. And speaking of toilets should I say “shit happens”?
To teach you how to be ashamed of yourself for your article of shame in “the Sun” newspaper is not my job and also I believe is a waste of time. “You can’t teach an old dog new trick”. But what I can do is to remind you of Physics and the most important British man in science Sir Isaac Newton. “Every Action has an Opposite Reaction”. In other words you challenged a 20 million people nation with your public statements about Greece and especially Greek women. You acted against them and now reaction has already started.
All you can do to stop reaction is go out publicly and take back your statements of shame. For once in your life put your tail between your legs and go out publicly and apologise to all the Greeks that have been offended from your article in “the Sun”. I can guarantee to you, they are many!
We Mr Clarkson, the Greeks, are very proud of our nation, our language, our history, our land and sea. The way you wrote about Greeks hurts our pride and strokes our sensitive chord. I know you British don’t have such patriotic feelings as we do, but still you will be insulted if someone publicly writes or speaks badly about your country or British people.
You have 3 kids (2 girls and 1 boy). I wish to you and to them to never be insulted the way YOU Mr Clarkson insulted our women, our nation and our homeland.
In the end, I want to put into your attention that walking around London and all the rural areas in Britain, especially in a dry night, every dark corner smells of urine. Also, it might worth paying a visit in one of the Greek islands and try our sea. Surprisingly it does not have the colour of shit (like for instance Brighton, Portsmouth, Southampton, Bournemouth etc) but it has the colour of water, of pure and safe water. You might envy that and I understand your feelings but, fact is a fact. Now, what is the toilette? The answer is in your brains now.
Looking forward to write again in your forums after your statement of APOLOGY to the Greeks all over the world and speak about INTEGRITY rather than ARROGANCE.
I wish this foul is not going to have big influence to your career but if it does, it will be a fair punishment to your arrogance.
Aldo

Greece forever, Macedonia Forever!
(k ta moustakia dirlaaaaaaa)

[Scouse]

bbbbbbboooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Bored Scouse

[Schlange]

DEAR GREEKS,
It is a pity that you make such a huge deal out of a joke, concerning the fact that greeks really love racial and national stereotypes. Come on just admit it what is your first thought about turks for example. Or Albanians? And now you complain, for 5 minutes of joking, yeah a bit rude, but still a joke(it is a thing you could get easy, although Greeks really hate to hear jokes about their country or anything bad, no matter it could be true). Tell me than what gives you the right to complain?
And since you actually have no right to complain about anyone making jokes about your toilette just shut up.
And please cut that crap with Ancient greece... your connection with AG is so thin you cannot even imagine. You have bigger connection with Turkey than with AG.
I support Jeremy Clarkson.
And by the way most greek girls do look like bears(consider the fact i said most, not all). The man has got a point - greek girls say british girls are ugly, but this can't obviously stop greek guys trying to chit chat with them.

[bergos]

Ha ha ha ha ha what a great joke Jeremy made about Greece and Greek women. How funny that was. After all, we all know how great British humor is!! Great sence of humor indeed, especially coming from a old gay guy with bad teeth! (I am just joking). Yes, Greece is a big toilet, we see it every year with the thousand of British drunks that visit Greece so to run arround drunk-naked vomiting and pissing on the streets (sometime at the same time). Yes, Greek women are ugly especially compared to famus English beauties (ha ha ha ha) women and men, (judging from you three characters on top gear the sort-the old-and the ugly). After all Britain is famous for many things, beautifull mountains, great beaches, great food, great weather and great museums full of stuff they stole from other countries because they have NOTHING to show for themselves.

The majority of Greek people think that the British are either hooligans, gay or drunks (or a combination) but none of our reporters-jurnalists says that on public tv or the newspapers.

Anyway, I am not pissed, I am just joking.

[The Doctor]

I am from Greece and I should say that when I watched that on the news I couldn't stop laughing. It was not just the fact that everyone was over-dramatizing it, but also the proof that GREEK JOURNALISTS DON'T HAVE A DECENT SENSE OF HUMOR !!! Now about the moustache, I am a girl and I don't happen to have one -waxing helps a lot- but I wasn't offended. Sarcasm is good, making fun with stereotypical jokes is also good and I could never think of a better way to descripe Greece than calling it a public lavatory, full of you-know-what (shit I mean). I could say a lot more but I'm going to need months to write them down.

Some Greeks are chauvinists and that's what caused the whole issue. Another thing is that when someone who is foreigner says "bad things" about Greece these people become furious, but when a Greek fellow says that the country is ruined they agree with him and say "yes, you are right, it's high time to make changes" and so on.

Personally, I wish more people could understand that humor is offending only when we think that we were offended.