Jeremy Clarkson Forum

[Russ]

It's time you knew, America you are the milkman's!!!

[bishopousa]

No. You must be thinking of Canada, America's hat. We're a completely different country. We are your child who doesn't do what you tell us to do anymore, and secretly you would be disappointed if we did.

[welshwizard]

Yes. We have a saying for it. 'Young, dumb and full of ...' Well you can fill in the blanks.

[bishopousa]

Um, you do realize that you're on the Jeremy Clarkson Forum, right?

I'm trying to build bridges and self-esteem and you go with the "fill in the blank."

Nice.

We are not young. We have been ruled by the same constitution since 1781.

Dumb? How do you call a whole country dumb?

And I already spoke to the last thing that you said, which was just inappropriate.

We have been planning our next trip to Europe and it will probably be to northern Wales. Anything I should see there? Do you want to have coffee?

[Russ]

We are not young. We have been ruled by the same constitution since 1781.

Arr, a little baby country, coutchy coo etc.

[bishopousa]

Ya, well we established with the first post that you be our daddy.

I think I was posting that to a Welchman. Have you allowed them to have their own country yet?

And is this some of that Yank baiting that Ive been hearing about?

[welshwizard]

Yank baiting on this forum???? Perish the thought; we'd never do that on here

Nah. Don't know much about North Wales. I'm a South Walian, but I have the great pleasure of residing in South London in a fortress called Roukes Drift which allows protection from the hoards of non indigenous gangs who take great pleasure in shooting and stabbing each other and talking 'jive' in a vain attempt to ape their 'brothers' in America.

[norfolkcaravanner]

Nothing wrong with yanks......as long as your in disneyland....why do they all drive pick up trucks with nothing in the back?......why havent they discovered the roundabout on their roads?.......who makes the toilet seats to cope with their huge arses?........why are all the huge women married to skinny little blokes with moustaches?.........and baseball caps....how do they manage to reproduce?........can you get a degree in american history, if so, how long is the course?........why cant they spell properly?.....when will they actually win a war on their own?..........why do they want to go to north wales?.........nobody else does unless you can claim benefit.....

[bishopousa]

Where to start.

Disneyland is run-down dump in California frequented by the locals. It's Walt Disney World in Florida where most Americans go, and where I had one of the best days of my life! (One of the best weeks of my life was in northwest Ireland. The Irish are cool.) If our pickup trucks are empty, it's because we're on the way back from hauling stuff - wood, hay, critters, tractors. We all live on huge estates with lots of crops and animals.

Love the roundabout, pimp it here every chance I get, have seen them in Colorado, but I think these people are wedded to their stop lights. Statistically, the U.K. has larger arses, and I did notice in London that your toilets *ARE* larger than ours and I wondered why, and now I know. And they use a lot more water than ours, which can only mean one thing. We call the huge women married to the little men "rednecks" and mock them in ways that you can only imagine.

And speaking of reproducing, youse had better start doing a better job of that or you will cease to exist as a people

The degree in American History takes roughly 1/4 of the time as a degree in English History, and isn't 1/10 as interesting, all those kings conniving and committing adultery and stuff. I read a little bit of my Henry V bio this morning before coffee. Man's man! So the Welch were once fighters? I think we all know who it is that can't spell properly, don't we? I've even been told that our "accent" is actually the original English because youse changed things to sound more French in the 19th century.
Win a war on our own? 1778, 1812, 1865, 1918, 1945, 1989, Currently. You're welcome. Except for the first two.

Oh, and South Wales, how can you *not* know much about North Wales? That's like me saying that I don't know about my neighbor a mile to the north. And as for the crime here and in South London, you do know that the U.K. has a higher rate of violent crime than the U.S., right? (Shocked indignation. Look it up.) I also know why. I noticed the first time I stayed in Westminster that many of the houses had iron bars and three or four locks, sort of like our "inner city." I have one lock on my front door, and it's not important if I lock it, because the bad guy doesn't know which one of us has a gun so they don't chance it. Big Brother took yours away in the 1920s because He was afraid that you might go Russian on Him. Maybe you can get one of them new-fangled constitutions and put it in there that they can't do that. Well, maybe too late for that, but thanks for that fundamental principle of the right to bear arms to protect one's person and property that you passed on to us! I also noticed that youse over there manage to murder each other with clubs, knives, by strangulation, etc.

Wow, it's getting late. Need to get home to the dish. The episode about the "interstate road trip" is on BBCA again tonight, and I'll watch it and laugh. "Much murdering around here?" "Ya, a guy just got shot last week..."

Cheerio Blokes!

[norfolkcaravanner]

very interesting....you spelt "neighbour" incorrectly by the way....the word "youse" is a new one.....and I disagree about the arses......

[welshwizard]

Ah, in our defence, we've had a leftist government now for some time, whose sole task has been to destroy all that is British. The bogs were made that big to accommodate the fat arsed Germans who were expected to come here in droves after apologising to them for firebombing Hamburg, Hanover and Dresden, (particularly as the history books have been changed to say the blitz never happened and that the Germans were innocent. It was just those evil Nazis all along. (Incidentally I recently heard that Brown or Blair apologised to the Japs for all the grief our soldiers gave them during the forced marches from Changi in Singapore to work on their railway line in Thailand and Burma. Welcome to Socialist Britain.))

North Wales. A land that all the thieving scousers went too to avoid arrest by the rozzers. All true Welshmen are found in South Wales.

1914 - 1918 The Great War. Let us not forget that more people died of the flu pandemic brought over by the yanks than died of bullets and shells. And if you buggers didn't use so many Mexicans to clean your pools, we wouldn't now have swine flu!!!

Dare I say Vietnam? You initially you surreptitiously went in to help our cheese chewing, garlic munching surrender monkey neighbours across the channel, who after their humiliation at Dien Bien Fu ran away, after which you openly stepped in and you never lost a battle the whole time you were there.........................But those little men with their push bikes and AK's still won the war, and gave you a bloody nose in the process.

South London Village. Back to the leftists. You see, they want us middle/working class types to leave, and to help us make up our minds, they have left 1.5 million people from the third world (I recently saw a man taking a shit in the street, when only 30 metres away was an open public toilet) into our country during their time in power. Their even importing known muslim terrorist to blow us up to make us want to leave our country. As for the crime here, it’s like this, the West Indians control the drugs, and Africans control the guns, but both want what the others have, and in turn kill each other to get it. God help you if your in the wrong place at the wrong time around here.

So, why do I dwell on the leftist government? Twelve years ago we voted in a man with big ideas, who would make our country a better place, clean up the sleaze and look after the ‘little’ man after years of the conservatives raping our wealth, and looking after their already privileged chums.
Wait a minute. Some other world leader just got elected on a similar mandate. I wonder who that could be.........................................? Any ideas?

Isn’t his name Barak Osama Bin Laden Saddam Husain Obama Bannanaramma

[BishopofAmerica]

To the Brit, you can disagree about the comparative arses if you want to, which is what your news people did when that came out a few years ago, if by "disagree" you mean "got their panties all in a bunch," but then they went and looked it up and then they shut up. I'm not going to do your homework for you. I do know that we have a lot of skinny people here, as do youse (it's a word that I made up, so it's ok - the language evolves, feel free to pass it on), especially in the cities, and probably more anorexics, and a lot of obese people in the south and Wisconsin. They like their fried stuff down there and their cheese up there.

To the Welchman, being new here, I'm not sure is it's ok to talk politics, but here goes. I'm not the only one here who is absolutely horrified at what we voted into office. Our first "pop culture" president. At first I thought that he was just in over his head, which he is, having done nothing in his career. Nothing. He was Senator from my state, and he happened to be in the potty every time an important vote came up. And look what it got him. Indeed. And we're not allowed to use his middle name. Hussein.

I had thought that the Americans would see what the "nanny state" (Mark Steyn) has made of youse (I love that word) and avoid it, but I may have been wrong. It's the lure of security in exchange for freedom, and a lot of people are falling for it hook, line, and sinker. We call them weak and lazy people. And this morning GM became Government Motors. Et al. Pravda thinks we're whacked. Those of us who aren't so inclined are fighting back, and it's good to hear that some of you (and a guy that I know from around Birmingham) are thinking clearly. Hussein.

Sorry about that flu pandemic that began at Ft. Riley, KS. Sort of a good news, bad news about the doughboys, eh? And who did you think was going to clean our pools, anyway? And these days we're looking at Vietman for what it is. We stopped the spread of communism for a time, until the Jimmy Carter presidency allowed them to start taking over the world again, and the Ronald Reagan came along and defeated communism. Things go in cycles over here. Hussein.

I think I'll go plant a tree on my property, wherever I want to.

Then I might cut down a tree on my property, probably a dead one, if I want to.

Then I will burn that tree to heat my house next winter, anytime I want to.

I might just go home right now and burn some cardboard boxes.

After I use them for target practice.

If I want to.

So what's there to do in South Wales?

Hussein

[norfolkcaravanner]

Shag a few sheep like the locals do, youse better bring your wellies.

[welshwizard]

Shag a few sheep like the locals do, youse better bring your wellies.

Don't knock it until you try it!!!

South Wales. If you like historic industrial wastelands, it's the place for you with long historical links and traditions of coal, steel and tin. It should be pointed out at this point that sheep farming is the pastime of North Wales. (Those scousers had to do something with their time whilst waiting for the police to turn up!!!) There are still a few small collieries, two steelworks, and a tinplate plant. (My home town of Llanelli was the tin capital of the world at one time and is sometimes referred to in history books as Tinopolis. It also had the first commercial railway line to take the tin and coal to one of the four large docks that existed in Victorian times.) If you like rolling hillsides and beautiful coast lines like the Gower or Pembroke and its coastal walks it's also worth a visit.
Whilst on the topic of Victoria, it is said that her inability to spell is the reason why Welsh is spelt as Welch in The Royal Welch Fusiliers.

[100meterboy]

Easy there boys. We're ALL on the same side after all.....we're car guys, petrol heads, gear heads, etc. Despite our differences, we share this common thread that makes us brothers of the road. Everyday day I encounter some bean sprout eating green dick that wants all of our awful fossil fuel burning cars to go away. So ease up and lets sharpen our focus to preserve our love of speed and our auto-obsessed lifestyles or we'll end up bantering about how to save some family of squirrels in the middle of nowhere.

All hail to internal combustion and wind in the face!

The 100meterboy

[welshwizard]

Welcome to the site The 100meterboy. You’re probably right with the car site comments............................But yank baiting is such good fun for us Brits on this site, and it helps take our minds off shite state our own country is in at the moment.