Jeremy Clarkson Forum

[Ivor Bigtruck]

Are there more unreleased farts (pharts) trapped in a ton of raisins than in a ton of brussel sprouts?

Oops! Sorry! This could be grounds for banning Christmas dinners!

[chris the gas man]

my son asked me a question that i have failed to answer, by putting his question on this forum i bow to superior wisdom.
if global warming is melting the worlds ice packs then it cannot affect the level of the oceans. ice is like a ship, in that it displaces its own mass. it is also less dense than water. therefore, would the ice not melt and then occupy its own space that it had displaced? or is this too simple and has been dismissed by the global warming doommongers

[norfolkcaravanner]

yeah......I'm still trying to find out what happened to Atlantis......

Hey!, perhaps the Titanic didn't sink after all! The sea levels probably just rose around it due to all the pollution it was chucking out!

Thought it hit a rogue lump of ice which was being steered southwards by some polar bears who were pissed off with the freezing cold weather at the North Pole......anyway don't point your truck towards Norkyland.....we a complete ice rink......our glorious leaders have said "bollocks" to gritting the roads, their saving all the salt and grit to put on the melting asphalt....."duty of care" and "health and safety" dont apply when it comes down to hard cash.......

[ExpatDavid]

What about WankObama (isn't he just a clone of Wanker Blair?) turning up in his presidential jet? How on earth can he square that one with his support for the scam?

Next it will be Wanker Brown wanting his own private jet in order to compete in the ego stakes. One might just imagine the conversation that might (hopefully) take place on his return to the UK:

Pilot: "Wanker1 to Heathrow Control, request urgent permission to land"

Heathrow: "What's the panic Wanker1, do you have a problem?"

Pilot: "We have the PM an board and he wants to get home for his dinner"

Heathrow: "Well tell him he'll have to wait, we're very busy just now"

Pilot: "Things are getting difficult here, he's just thrown his phone at the Chief Steward!"

Heathrow: "Give me a moment, I'll see what I can do. In the meantime maintain your height on heading 354 degrees"

Pilot: "OK Heathrow, thanks"

Some time later,

Pilot: "What's happening Heathrow? We must be nearly over Birmingham now and the PM is in a real rage now"

Heathrow: "That's alright Wanker1, just maintain your course. Glasgow control will be in contact shortly"

Pilot: "What do you mean ? Glasgow? "

Heathrow: "Tell him he's just been fucked off back to Scotland and he'd better stay there"

If only we could f*** him off along with the Milibands and the rest of his scumbag cabinet.

[welshwizard]

my son asked me a question that i have failed to answer, by putting his question on this forum i bow to superior wisdom.
if global warming is melting the worlds ice packs then it cannot affect the level of the oceans. ice is like a ship, in that it displaces its own mass. it is also less dense than water. therefore, would the ice not melt and then occupy its own space that it had displaced? or is this too simple and has been dismissed by the global warming doommongers

You're right; ice does melt and fill its own mass. It's the ice mass sitting on solid ground like the various glaciers around the world and Greenland is what they attribute the raising of the sea to.

What the warmers won't say is that the poles have melted previously for long periods of history, despite the warmers proclaiming it's only been since the 90's onwards. Scroll down the attached link and see the pictures for yourself.

http://www.john-daly.com/polar/arctic.htm

[Trillium]

my son asked me a question that i have failed to answer, by putting his question on this forum i bow to superior wisdom.
if global warming is melting the worlds ice packs then it cannot affect the level of the oceans. ice is like a ship, in that it displaces its own mass. it is also less dense than water. therefore, would the ice not melt and then occupy its own space that it had displaced? or is this too simple and has been dismissed by the global warming doommongers

You clearly had much more fun than me in 1st year geography. The 5th continent that no-one can remember? Antarctica. None of Antarctica's ice is floating. Some of it is hanging over the ocean for many miles, but it's all attached to land, until it falls off, like dropping an ice-cube off a diving board. All the Arctic ice is floating, so your clever son is spot on with that one - doesn't change sea levels one jot if that melts.

[Grumpe Oldman]

John Coleman is co-founder of the Weather Channel.
A simple explanation of global warming from a weatherman ....
http://www.kusi.com/home/78477082.html?video=pop&t=a

Stop worrying about your carbon footprint, you can't compete with this .....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldne ... roves.html

Oh yes, and ... Happy new year fellow petrol heads, enjoy your driving, it makes NO difference to the climate.

[norfolkcaravanner]

yeah.....thought Archimedes worked that one out a couple of years ago during a "Eureka" moment.....playing with his plastic duck in the bath....

[Aphrame]

Don't know about global warming .. Its snowing like f**k here !!!

[norfolkcaravanner]

Don't know about global warming .. Its snowing like f**k here !!!

Yeah.....same here in Norkyland......roads a sheet ice .....but at least the local council are doing their best to safeguard their gritter drivers........their not sending them out on health and safety grounds!......the roads are too dangerous for them........ok for the school bus though!....

[Grumpe Oldman]

The UK Met predicts a “mild” winter as we freeze our arses off
http://www.climategate.com/met-office-p ... -arses-off

Polar Bears Thrive, Contrary to WWF Claims
http://www.climatechangefraud.com/home/ ... wwf-claims
http://www.thenewamerican.com/tech-main ... onment/675
How many more winters and summers will it take before sanity finally breaks in to put an end to this scandal?
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/james ... -new-year/

[chris the gas man]

thats got me thinking, if archimedes was pontificating about ducks, then he came up with a method to move water through mechanical means, then the answer is: screw the ducks. i now feel qualified to answer my son`s(sons`?) question. ive clipped him around the lug and told him that no-one likes a smart arse

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah.....no problem now as you freeze your bollocks off......the tree huggers are quitting the global warming bollocks and renaming it... "climate change"....it'll be warmer by wednesday...maybe....

[welshwizard]

thats got me thinking, if archimedes was pontificating about ducks, then he came up with a method to move water through mechanical means, then the answer is: screw the ducks. i now feel qualified to answer my son`s(sons`?) question. ive clipped him around the lug and told him that no-one likes a smart arse

Good man yourself. That's the only way they'll learn anything in life. Am threatening to do the same with my daughter.