Jeremy Clarkson Forum

[WendyRich]

Dear Jeremy,

I have a lovely (oldish) Citroen Aura - 1994 vintage, but with only 45,000 random "old lady" miles on the clock and a few slightly "old-lady" modified panels - not a status symbol, I'll admit but nonetheless, a good runner and excellent shopping trolley....that was until my enterprising 11 year-old future formula one driver discovered a glaring design blooper!

It didn't have to be him who made the discovery, it could easily have been my 16 year old or any of their friends - the thing is, the car has a factory supplied code immobilising system, which the previous old-lady owner had requested to not require a code for daily motoring, giving up the luxury of a radio as these two features were clearly mutually incompatible.

I also felt able to forgo the luxury of a radio in order to continue to enjoy cheap, trouble-free motoring. My son though, on one occasion when he found himself in the car, together with the keys and limited adult supervision, saw the LED display "enter code" on the radio as a challenge that he felt able to rise to....he started tapping in numbers, convinced he could break the code and make the radio sing - he didn't, but he did manage to immobilise the car.

Now it would appear that what he managed to do, was enter the pre-set factory code (probably 1111), then press change or something similar, then enter some more random numbers, thereby changing forever the immobiliser code.

No big deal you might think but apparently, and certainly according to Cilly Old Citroen, a VERY BIG DEAL INDEED! A £500 - £700 big deal as they assure me that they cannot possibly re-set the ECU to the original factory setting without knowing what random selection of digits was entered by my son.

I have to say that having a non-working radio with a display saying "enter code" is akin to having a great big cake with the words "eat me" - any boy under 20 is going to have a crack at it wouldn't you think?

And Citroen will take no responsibility for this appallingly porous design lapse or try to help to sort it out in any way other than selling me a new ECU.

I would be interested to know if there are any other Citroen Aura owners who have experienced a similar problem.

[Russ]

All Citroens are crap, FACT.
and saxos are a crap girls cars.
The main "blooper" is that they exist at all.

Note to Mr Citroen,
Thanks for the chevron gear idea, now stop making crap.

[norfolkcaravanner]

You not heard of Sebastion Leob and The World Rally Championship then?.......

[Russ]

You not heard of Sebastion Leob and The World Rally Championship then?.......

A Citroen will work for a bit, then you will see it for what it is. As Mr Leob will realise as he finishes badly this season, pushes his C4 home moaning "... le dust, le dust."

[welshwizard]

Yes. That C4 is probably built by a british motorsport company, because a french one would go on strike and balls it up, dumb arsed peasant fluckwits!

[norfolkcaravanner]

you pair talking absolute boloocks....Loeb heading for 6th championship.....15 pts clear of the rest with half the rallies completed.......he,s the dogs bollocks, frog or not....

[Russ]

Now he has his French knighthood his head and big shiny medal will slow him down in Greece

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah, and a Frog Knighthood......forgot about that.....maybe the one eyed scottish idiot will be at Silverstone to award Knighthoods to Button and Obama......

[Russ]

My hatred of citroen is based on two things;-

1. I have worked on them

2. I have owned one

Sir Leob could drive his C4 up to my front door with a full english breakfast served on Nelly Furtado, button mushroom in her belly button and maybe some bacon or a sausage on her.... as I was saying, and a million quid for me and I still could not bring myself to like them even a little bit

[norfolkcaravanner]

Fair enough......still a f****** good driver though.....

[Russ]

The only reason he is quick is because before a stage his team principal challenges him to a fight. the Frenchman, therefore a coward can't get away quick enough. He has to be strapped in well or he would give his C4 to the first German he sees.

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah OK........I'm not with the cheese eating surrender monkeys either....in fact I think every frog should be made to walk out into the sea from the Normandy Beaches on the 6th of june every year, with big placards saying please come and save us from the Krauts, because our Army, which is bigger than yours, has surrendered......dont want to get hurt do they???....Loebs still the dogs bollocks though!!!!!

[welshwizard]

My god. Things have gotten to be very bad when we're talking about Citroen on what is fundamentally motoring journalist’s forum. French cars and motoring can best be described as an oxymoron. We'll be scraping the bottom of the barrel next with Renault and Peugeot!

[Russ]

I've had the Eurovan, traffic version, imposed on me by a new employer. Please give me a transit.

[welshwizard]

You can't go too far wrong with a Sprinter of the cheaper but equally well built VW. Had considerable experience with both over the years.

[Russ]

You can't go too far wrong with a Sprinter of the cheaper but equally well built VW. Had considerable experience with both over the years.

The lower level VW vans are old Merc models, rebadged and dated, I drove a sprinter for years. 1000 miles a week and after a while their injectors will fail and you will stop. You can change them but without the laptop you will go nowhere. I used to joke that our transport manager was saving on tyre wear by having me on a recovery truck. Sprinters are good, but shortlived.

Transits, excluding the rediculous 140 mph 6 speed model with 40k life expectancy, for christ sake its a van! are the van that will plod on and on and get you home.

[welshwizard]

My friend owns a large haulage firm in South Wales, and purchased a Sprinter (312 I think and un-restricted) when they first arrived on the scene. They had a load of transits, and were available for all to drive. Within six months it had been involved in 4 crashes, and had been on its side once. So he gave it to a regular driver, an old boy with 25+ years with the company, and never a day’s trouble. Within six months he had 9 points. In the meantime, they bought another, and having learnt their lesson was given to a permanent driver. Three months later he drove off a French motorway at an estimated 125mph straight through a farmhouse on the side of the road!
They now have around 15, a mix of VW LT's and Sprinters, all governed to 78 and when I last drove one, and they now appear to be geared for power rather than the speed of the early ones.

[Russ]

Always had trouble speeding, always running bent, shhh, Piss off vosa

Managed 3 points from a cop hiding behind a bridge near Lowestoft.

Once drove 110 miles to a job, went to go home found I had lost 5th. Sprinter would still do 80 in 4th, passed a bridge with a van on and thought "if I get a ticket in a van with no top gear, I will never live it down" I did not. Found 5th in bits in the bottom of the box, lucky to get home, 110 miles in forth!

[Russ]

Now he has his French knighthood his head and big shiny medal will slow him down in Greece

Told you... ha, ha,ha...

[norfolkcaravanner]

Yeah OK.....but the roll was the dogs bollocks!!!!.....better not let u lot know that my Peugeot 406 with 277000 on the clock is one of the best cars I,ve had.......anyway Petter Solberg is my favourite driver..swears a lot and takes the piss....